subsequent musings on single girls settling.

Recently, a dear friend of mine was fallen prey to a modern day Mr. Willoughby. Jane Austen would be very proud at this projection of her character. This serial dater (as my sister so eloquently put it) struck gold. I find that this man or shall we say boy as he is a coward of the first rate, did not say anything ambiguous and made no promises. Does this free him from any obligation toward my friend? In this case, he, like Willoughby, made every implication towards his intention with action and yet never said anything untoward or "incriminating".

My friend was careful to allow him the pursuit of the relationship never stepping over the boundary, allowing her father to step in as a barrier and as a monitor of the relationship. I wonder in this case how the hurt could have been avoided due to the resultant fact that she behaved in a manner that would be described as nothing lower than above board. I think in this case, he used his ambiguity and lack of promise to his advantage; thinking that if he was to actually "say" anything, he would then be held accountable for what he "said". Consequently, I have to revise my statement considering single girls settling for men they have to conjure into a relationship. There is apparently another type.

The Willoughby factor hereto unrealized in my immediate circles has made himself known. So girls, beware of also the guy who makes no promises even though his actions state otherwise. The guy who never talks of marriage and yet calls all the time. The guy who pays for things and dates yet never talks of future plans that include you. In short, I think that the man who you can trust is the one who has put a ring on your finger. Who simultaneously speaks of dating for the purpose marriage but doesn't speak of it unless he knows you are "it" deep down.

Many girls that fall for this "dating for marriage or to find a wife" line are the ones that have the characteristics of a great Christian girl. The ones that are pretty, intelligent, godly, who more oftentimes than not come from great homes with wonderful parents, and are typically easy to get along with. Who wouldn't want to date someone like that? Who wouldn't want to marry someone like that? I think so often these girls allow themselves to be pursued by someone who wants these qualities but doesn't really care about who they actually are. The things that make them different from the next godly, pretty, intelligent girl from a great home?

I suppose in this way you actually have to know someone to find those things out, but why doesn't have to be under the label of dating? The more I think about these issues, the more I am convinced that dating (a product of the 20+ centuries) is a foolish venture. As my husband puts it, its preparation for divorce.